Family Tree Zion Music Video

This is the music video we made for the song Family Tree by Matthew West. Be inspired and laugh! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mqFtlUALfw

Raytersblak

Mula sa kawalan ay isang silahis ng dagitab ang sa isip niya’y gumising

May dapat kang isulat, sigaw ng kanyang utak

Mayroon kang pangarap, hiyaw ng kanyang puso

Siya namang karipas niya sa paghahanap ng pluma at papel sa kung saan

Dadaloy na ang mga ideya mula sa ugat ng kayamang nasa loob ng kanyang bungo

Daraan sa hiyas sa kanyang dibdib…

Patungo sa dulo ng kanyang mga daliri

Nariyan na at kailangan niya ng ipakawala

Ngunit…Malabo, madilim, hindi mahagilap…

Isang napakalikot na obrang matagal ng nais madakip

Mailap…di mawari kung maamo ba o sadyang ubod ng bangis

Siyang ganda kaya o walang pinagkaiba sa iba?

At sa dulo ay naisip niya na lamang…

Marahil ay hindi pa handa, sa susunod na lang…kapag perpekto na.

(Kapag wala na akong maisulat... :D)

the last train

(I made this short story as a practice for my writing skills. The task was to make a story on which the main character is a father and on a first person viewpoint. Please feel free to put comments. :D)

                I lit up another cigarette and watched as the end of the stick burned red ashes. I inhaled a puff of smoke with exhaling. This, I know, did not help me feel calmer. I sat here on a rusted bench with my wife on the city’s train station for almost three hours. Two trains have already come and gone. The next train will be the last. The place was full of other people sweating because of the heat of the noonday sun. Everybody hardly talked. I guess they, too, were waiting for the last train bringing the news that would either make us or break us.

                Last night, my niece told me that today the soldiers who fought on the war will go home riding the last train for the day. The war had happened so suddenly that one night someone called over the phone. My son, Fred, took the call and learned that it was his battalion leader. He left the next morning. My wife had nothing to do but hugged him and wished him luck. I, despite the urge, have not even had the chance to tell him I was proud of him or even say “good luck”.

                I was awakened from my wandering thoughts by an approaching low rumbling sound. The train came toward the station and stopped with a screeching sound. Everyone stood up eagerly. Soldiers on their khaki military attires, some with bandages and splints, started to disembark the train. My wife and I watched patiently for our son to appear and come running to us. A tall man with a bandage on his left arm, the last passenger of the train, went out the train and slowly walked towards us, probably because he noticed that our worried eyes are fixed at him.

                “Good day, Sir. I am Lieut. Stradford. Are you Mr. Pryster?”, he asked.

              I nodded. He handed me a small white envelope…a letter from the US Air Force. I took it with trembling hands. I looked at him eye to eye, searching for an answer to a question I could not bear to ask. He just looked back at me with sorry eyes.

                I opened the letter. Every word hit my heart like the bullets that killed my son. I stared blankly at the empty train in front of me while my wife embraced me, sobbing.

 

                If life is a journey, we are all like riding trains of experiences and opportunities. We ride, go around the town, meet people and see places. But there is only one train, may be unexpectedly our last, that will bring us to our true home.

I WILL PERSIST UNTIL I SUCCEED

please watch it at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrGFRK_B30I

my inspirations

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cS2Hd1B9WA

please do watch and be inspired too. :D

Worn-Out Badge

(This blog is dedicated to my brother. Bro, now that you have stepped onto college life, I hope you will learn many things and continually grow up as a man.)

                Once in Manila, as we were going home from a camp, I saw this vendor’s stand with various badge pins. Being a collector of badges myself, one particular badge caught my attention. It is a size of a small circular compact mirror with a yellow background and black bold playful print of “Good-For-Nothing-Student”. My co-camper saw it too and we bargained on who will have the badge. I won and bought it.

                Come my last year in high school when I wore a sling bag strapped with different badges along with that “Good-For-Nothing-Student” badge, somehow the badge proved to be wrong. However, if I could turn back time, I should have not bought it.

                Sometimes, I just need to be careful of what I label myself. Even though the effects of the words did not show up during that time, I think it does now in college. It was an autopilot etched on my subconscious. As I labeled myself “Good-For-Nothing-Student”, it crept through my brain, through my veins, and through my entire system. I realized that my primary purpose when I bought that badge was to “put myself to that level and live showing the opposite”. But, I made an unnecessary enemy out of thin air.

                In high school, I admit I spent only 20% of my time studying, that was during our time to practice for a practicum, during the four periodical exams, and when I am in a class of a monster teacher when I need to focus or else I will be devoured…exaggerated. The other 80% were, well, anything under the sun.

                But college is different. A lot different. Being passive, lazy, “parbol”, not doing my assignments, not reviewing for quizzes and exams, not taking notes, not listening to teachers, just hanging out with friends and not thinking about what could happen to my future, and if I consistently and passionately do this process, surely I will be a certified “Good-For-Nothing-Student”, not a Certified Public Accountant.

                Whenever I don’t feel the pressure and the motivation to strive with my studies, I remember the lesson from the ant which says…

“You lazy fool, look at an ant.

Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two.

Nobody has to tell it what to do.

All summer it stores up food;

At harvest it stockpiles provisions.

So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing?

How long before you get out of bed?

A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there,

Sit back, take it easy--- do you know what comes next?

Just this: You can look forward to a dirt-poor life,

Poverty your permanent houseguest!”

+Proverbs 6:6-11+

                Now I have a better idea of what badge to wear. It is something that says, “Study as if you have not prayed, and pray as if you have not studied.”

It's Never Easy

AGAPE by Redeemed Band

Ayokong iwan ka,

Ngunit wala naman akong magagawa.

Alam ko na ayaw mo rin,

Ngunit ito ang dapat nating gawin...

Masakit man ito

Kailangan kong lumayo

Chorus:

Dahil may mas mahalaga

Kaysa sa 'ting nadarama

At hindi itong damdamin

Ang dapat nating unahin

May tamang panahon

Ngunit 'di pa yon ngayon

At sana ay malaman mong mahal kita,

Pero mas mahal ko Siya

Di sapat na dahilan

Ang pag-sintang wala namang kabuluhan

Upang ating ipagpalit

Sa tungkulin na ating nakamit

Masakit man ito

Kailangan kong lumayo

Chorus:

Dahil may mas mahalaga

Kaysa sa 'ting nadarama

At hindi itong damdamin

Ang dapat nating unahin

May tamang panahon

Ngunit 'di pa yon ngayon

At sana ay malaman mong mahal kita,

Pero mas mahal ko Siya

Bridge:

Minsan kailangan ding

Wag nating sundin,

Ang tibok nitong puso

Sana kahit na magkalayo

Ay 'wag tayong hihinto...

Masakit man ito, kailangan kong lumayo...

Dahil may mas mahalaga

Kaysa sa 'ting nadarama

At hindi itong damdamin

Ang dapat nating unahin

May tamang panahon

Ngunit 'di pa yon ngayon

At sana ay malaman mong mahal kitaaaaaa…

May mas mahalaga

Kaysa sa 'ting nadarama

At hindi itong damdamin

Ang dapat nating unahin

May tamang panahon

Ngunit 'di pa yon ngayon

At sana ay malaman mong mahal kita,

pero mas mahal ko Siya...

Mas mahal ko Siya,

Mas mahal ko Siya.

Break ups cannot be explained in any way possible, just like how I can't explain how I've fallen in love. And sometimes it's really hard to do the right thing. Some do not understand me, someone is hurt so much, and even my own heart is shattered. But then, I must live by the Word, by faith, and I shall fear no judgment of men. Now, I entrust to God everything about us. 

GrekaBLESSED

Sa pagbabalik ko sa Puerto

Ako’y sinalubong ng mga katribo

Levi ang aking naging tahanan

Aking naging pamilya sa simbahan

Sa Hike for Life ay sumali

Para lang hamunin ang sarili

Maglalakad para sa MSU

At para summer ay tiyak ma-enjoy ko

Doon nga sa Coliseum nagsimula

Ang paglalakbay na napakahaba

Mga katribo ay naglakad ng nakapula

Lahat sama-sama, mapabata o matanda

Akala ko nung una ay madali

Ngunit sa San Jose natuklasang hindi

Masakit na agad ang paa at binti

Parang tuloy gusto ko ng umuwi

Gabi nun at bilog ang buwan

Nang ang banner ay natanawan

Alas diyes na nakarating sa Bacungan

Masakit na ang paa hanggang balakang

Doon nga’y maraming nakilala

Mga taong iba-iba ang istorya

Mga mababait at masarap kasama

Sa pagtulog ay katabi humiga

Sa ikatlong araw ay pa-Bahile

Madaling araw pa lang handa na ang sarili

Sa Kilometer 35 ay nasabi

“Kakayanin ko ‘to kahit ‘di madali!”

Kinabukasan naman ay napakapait

Natikman ang lupit ng Tagabinet

Pataas, pababa at liko-liko ang kalsada

Parang roller coaster nga talaga

May mga session din sa ilalim ng puno

True Love Waits ay talagang isinapuso

Naglaro rin kami kasama ang mga katribo

Nagbonding at nag-enjoy ng totoo

Sabi, sa may view deck ay malapit na

Konting liko na lang daw at taas-baba

Pero naglakad ng halos dalawang oras pa

Di makapanniwalang sobrang layo pa pala

Ngunit isang karanasan ang di malilimutan

Dahil gustong makita agad ang banner sa harapan

Muntik kong hindi mapansin

Ang napakagandang limestone na tanawin

Nagmuni at naglaro sa isipan

Sa buhay ay baka may nakakaligtaan

Sa bilis ng takbo ng oras at kabusyhan

Likha ng Panginoo’y hindi na hinahangaan

Sa Festival of Life naman ay napagpala

Presensiya ng Diyos aking nadama

Sa krus kasalanan ay binitawan

Nagdesisyong magbago’t di na iyon balikan

Huling araw nga ay dumating

Ang Sabang ay naghihintay na sa amin

Magandang dalampasigan ay sumalubong

Tila nagyayaya ng ligo ang mga alon

Pitumpu’t limang kilometro ay nakaya

Walang sakay-sakay, di sumuko talaga

Kaya kay Lord ay nagpapasalamat ng sobra

Sa bawat hakbang, Siya ay kasama.

Pagkatapos nito’y Hitch Camp naman

Level Up, kaalaman ay nadagdagan

Sa puso’y nagkaroon ng intensyon

Plano ng Diyos ay nabigyang atensyon

Iba-ibang buhay ang naibahagi

Mga hinanakit at masakit na pangyayari

Ngunit lahat ng ito’y napalitan ng saya

Dahil pag-ibig ni Kristo’y nadama

Sa games ay talagang natuto

Mga mensaheng pansarili at panggrupo

Sa FGD nga ay naunawaan

Dahil sa krus, enemy ay matatalo’t pagbabago’y makakamtan

Sa Trust Fall natutong magtiwala

Sa wall climbing takot sa heights nawala

Sa Tissue Trail mag-ingat sa salita

Upang di na makasakit sa kapwa

Sa The Breakfast ay nahirapan

Komunikasyon ay di talaga kadalian

Ngunit magkagayunpaman

Ang resulta’y napagtagumpayan

Ang Eco-challenge ay sobrang nakakapagod

Mainit na araw sa amin ay sumubok

Nag-water relay at synchronized walking

Sa Drop Me Not binuhat ang pinakabigatin

May Power of One, Spiderweb at Catacomb

Tanker, Square Puzzle at Plank and Platforms

Lahat ay nagturo ng maraming lesson

Maging communicative, collaborative at mission-oriented person

Sa pag-uwi bitbit ang dog tag

Na sumisimbolo ng tibay at tatag

Ngunit higit sa lahat ay ang nasa puso

Ang pag-ibig ng Diyos na ibabahagi sa mundo


(To those who are puzzled with the title, grekablessed means "grabe kablessed".  :D)

family bloopers trilogy

     Sa tahanan naman talaga nag-uumpisa lahat, diba? Bago ka nagkaron ng barkada, bago ka nag-aral, bago mo nakilala ang nagpatibok ng puso mo, bago ka nagtrabaho, lahat sa tahanan nagsimula. Sa tahanan ka unang nagkaisip, natuto, umiyak at tumawa. Nakakatuwa lang at gusto kong ikwento ang ilang mga nakakatawang bagay na "tatak-bahay"...mga pangyayaring kahit ulit-ulitin, natatawa pa rin ako sa tuwing sumasagi sa aking isipan. :D Sana ay makarelate kayo sa mga kalokohan namin sa bahay. Enjoy!

Warm Alcohol

     Mahilig talagang maglagay ng alcohol si Tatay. Kahit nga mukha niya, kahit mahapdi sa mata, nilalagyan niya pa rin ng alcohol. Minsan nilalagay niya rin ang alcohol sa mga parte ng katawan na makati. Kahit saan...palawakin mo na lang ang imahinasyon mo sa kung saan siya naglalagay ng alcohol. Basta kahit saan. Hehehe.

     Isang umaga, naligo siya. Pagkatapos niyang maligo, naglagay siya ng alcohol sa pwet. Maya-maya napansin naming dali-dali siyang bumalik sa banyo, at sumisigaw ng, "Mers, ano ba itong lalagyan ng alcohol sa may labahan, zonrox pala ang laman?".

     Hindi ko alam kung si Tatay ba ang dapat sisihin na naglagay siya ng alcohol ng basta-basta, o si Nanay dahil hindi siya nagsasabing nilipat niya pala ng lalagyan ang zonrox, pero sigurado akong... mainit sa balat ang zonrox. Hahahahaha!

Kimi Banana

     Isang araw naman, nag-grocery kami sa NCCC at napagtripan naming magkakapatid na bumili ng "Kimi Banana". Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, ice drop yun na ang outer layer ay jelly at pwedeng balatan na parang saging dahil sa loob ay may vanilla ice cream. Kumpleto kaming magkakapatid nung panahong yun kaya pinicturan namin ang mga sarili naming kumakain nun, tapos inupload agad namin sa Facebook. Makalipas ang ilang araw, marami ang nag-comment sa picture na yun. Mukha kasing masarap ang kain namin sa Kimi Banana. Pero isang comment ang nangibabaw sa lahat. Sabi kasi ng Auntie ko sa comment niya, "Ano yan ne, lakatan?"

     Haaai, napakasarap na lakatan. :D

Mini Cake

     Eto naman, monthsary namin ng boyfriend ko, pumunta kami ng Mitra at napadaan din kami sa Baker's Hill. Bumili kami ng choco moist mini cakes dun (kung yun ba ang tawag dun) para ipasalubong ko sa bahay. Siyempre pagdating sa bahay, kinain agad ng mga kapatid ko. Sabi ko tirahan si Tatay kahit isa. Eh may nahulog na isang mini cake sa sahig, kaya hindi nila kinain yung huli pang isa. Pero, yung nahulog sa sahig ibinalik pa nila sa lalagyan sa hindi ko na malamang kadahilanan.

Pagdating ni Tatay, nakita niya agad ang mini cake. Kinain niya yung isang mini cake, yung malinis. Pero may isa pa sa lalagyan at walang nakapagsabi sa kanya na nahulog na yun sa sahig. Mabilis ang kamay niya sa pagsubo. Bago pa mabuka ng kapatid ko ang bibig niya para pagsabihan ang Tatay ko, nasubo na niya ang mini cake. Sabi ng Tatay ko, "Ang sarap nito ah, kaso bakit parang lasang buhangin?"

     Humalakhak ng todo ang kapatid ko. At strike two na si Tatay. ahahahah!

     Pag nalulungkot na ako sa MSU, eto na lang iisipin ko para sumaya ako ulit. :D

mizpah

I’m torn apart…by distance, by time, and by circumstances. For the first time, I went home to Palawan with great misery. I shall go home, be with my family and friends, and surely enjoy summer, but when I go back to MSU, I shall not see several faces of people I love. This is so depressing that even at this very moment that I’m writing this, I pause every now and then, lost in thoughts, and revived again with deep sighs. But still I’m gathering all the courage I can have, hold my tears as much as I can so that the screen won’t be blurred, and compel my mind to explore the ache I feel in my heart, and let it pass the message to my fingertips.

Truly, people come and people go. But oftentimes life is so cruel that people come easily, and then go in a hard way.

A Creative Damsel

I was once a freshman in college who was looking for new friends and finding a way to fit to the new world I was in. One afternoon, I was invited to a Bible study in a cottage (boarding house). That was the first time I saw her. She is a cute charming girl sitting on a small stool, one who you can tell to be surely a shy and silent type girl. I thought she was a freshman too but I later knew she’s a sophomore. An ate, although technically I am older than her. Too bad she’s accelerated, I’m not. Nevertheless, she was my ate, and will always be one of those memorable ates in MSU.

She became my co-Zion member and was also my co-Thursday Commune teammate before. We shared laughter and tears (still often caused by laughter) with other girls in Zion. She has very creative hands that could turn simple papers to colorful pieces of art. She is indeed very thoughtful. But above all, she was an ate that would listen. Her patience stretches so wide. But, mind you, it has limitations…proven and tested. :)

One time, it was almost midnight but we weren’t feeling sleepy. So with a guitar and a bench with Ate Jing, we loitered at our apartment’s corridor, and sang songs at our heart’s delight. It was one of those fortunate nights when the sky is clear and we can see the twinkling stars, perfect with the bone-chilling coldness of the MSU night’s breeze. This is the most unforgettable time I had with her.

She is one of the reasons why I never regretted going far just to have my college. The Mindanao State University, indeed, is the melting pot of the south because there, people from various places and cultures diverge. But sadly, again, they come so easily, but go in a hard way, because when people graduate and go, the whole world will be the rendezvous.

Of course, there are many experiences we shared together…not to mention the camps, intercessions, dine-outs, and overnight Bible sharing. Together, I believe we have grown in the Lord.

But as you graduate, Ate Kang, it’s our prayer that you will continue your purpose, and with your sparkling smile (it is indeed, sparkling), encourage people around you wherever you may be. Mupanaw man ka te, yaon gihapon kaw sa ako kasing-kasing, hinumduma ini.Salamat sa tanan-tanan!

A Laughing Machine

Yes, a laughing machine. I’ll prove it.

Going up to the next level in my course also means growing up as an ate. I am no longer the baby who will be cooed, but the ate who will take care of the manghuds. And there is this manghud I sure won’t forget.

I was the oldest ate left in MSU to take care of the incoming freshmen that time. She was Denise… or so I thought. She texted me with messages full of siran, niran, kamao, etc. I realized aside from the four dialects I am struggling to learn, she will add another one that would make me an alien to as far as Neptune. Obviously, we did not understand each other. First, because her nickname is not Denise but Love-love (Denise was her cousin’s name, actually Dennis, who accompanied her in her travel). Second, her first name is Mirzhay, and don’t ask me where the Love-love came from. Third, she left MSU as soon as she arrived, but only temporarily during this time. She came to our house, I invited her to come in, talked to her, and let her watch our TV. I thought she was enjoying it, but no sooner than later, she asked permission to go home…to Davao. She came back to enroll after some days.

After a year of laughing with her, especially with Bututoy and the Bibi’s, she finally decided to transfer to other school. Too bad. She always reminded me that taking decisions is one of the hardest things in life. One wrong turn, and you cannot tell how much can be ruined. But I know for sure that in the path that led her to MSU, it was a journey full of worthwhile lessons that she can bring with her around.

Love, I hope you would not hide the light you have in you.

(and this picture is the BEST I can post…because here I remember who you are.)

A Superman in a Body of a Matchstick

I’m sorry for the title, but it’s the best way I could describe this man. Yes, he is a superman. He’s talented, he’s smart, he’s a genius, he’s simply amazing, he’s a friend. But yes, he’s a matchstick, too. He is so thin and he’s so bony that the first thing image of him that would mark your brain is his killer super wide smile. So wide you would not think he has problems as big as the world. His smiles and jokes, though, lighten up the hearts of people around him…like a matchstick.

Normal people would say, “I went to the market.” Well, he’s not among the normal because as what Katrina and I once joked about (and I love putting that bold effect), he would describe everything, adding adjective to every phrase, until a sentence like that of I went to the market would be: “The fresh smell of salmons and seaweeds linger to my nose as I stepped onto the cemented muddy floor of the market. I see mothers buying meat and vegetables for tonight’s dinner from vendors already worn out by the day’s work…”, or something better than this. :)

He’s a trivia machine, someone you could ask just about anything. He’s so sharp he never leaves the top row of the students no matter how much extra-curricular he has. He’s very talented with his grooving body and distinctive voice. One time I ask him why he always dances even there’s no music. He told me he hears music inside his body, and do he dances. Wow.

Not to be a hypocrite, we cannot just afford to lose him even for a year…or else we may lose several contests to the conventions. But deeper than that, we couldn’t afford to lose someone whose presence is so enlightening and humorous. The class wouldn’t be the same without this guy who always cracks jokes even at the middle of a serious lecture or a mind-whacking exam.

But anyways, I won’t say goodbye, Norby. Not yet

.

The Angel-Bearer

Surely, this girl shall leave the campus for some time. She’s also an original (much like The Originals of Vampire Diaries). I don’t know why she’s also there, like Norbert, when one afternoon over a platter of pizza at Comamo’s, we coined our batch name the BALANCES. And now, though by heart she’ll still be a BALANCES, technically, she wouldn’t be anymore because she will soon welcome a blessing.

She’s beautiful, indeed. The greatest proof to that is while we are all striving to have the CPA title, she already got her own…indirectly. But one unforgettable thing that surely proves her guts was her introduction on the first day of our major class. I can still recall so clearly how this tall, skinny, fair girl with eyeglasses, stood up confidently and said, “We do not have any CPA’s in our family. Hopefully, I’ll be the first one.”

As her friend, I am so blessed to have this sweet girl. She will always hug me when she realized she missed me. She’s one of those people I could talk to untiringly for hours. Right now I imagine how happy we were, together with Katrina. But when I imagine the future without her…I can’t help but cry. Of course, we are happy she will soon come back and we will all soon be godparents…but whatever we had before, the joy and the difficulties we shared together as classmates and as friends, shall never be as it has always been.

Jas, I could not say more but thank you. And I’m sorry for our shortcomings, especially during those times that you needed us the most but we weren’t there. Continue growing as a lady, and take care of the responsibilities God has given you. After all, He gives tasks but not tasks too great for you to carry. Remember that His grace is sufficient in spite of your weaknesses.

P.S. The batch loves Maggi…or Yuan… so much. We love you too. Mwwah!

It was also called Mizpah (watchtower) because he said, “May the LORD keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other.”

-Genesis 31:49 (New International Version)

I love you all, guys. Ciao!

melodiya ng tagumpay

PNS March, "Melodiya ng Tagumpay".

Ito yung pamagat ng artikulo sa Ang Palawenian. Nakita ko ito sa mga lumang gamit namin habang nagliligpit ako sa bahay. At nung nabasa ko ulit 'to, napakanta pa ako. Ikaw, kaya mo pang kantahin? :)

Sa tagal at haba man ng panahon

Patuloy kang nananatiling matatag

Saksi ang bunga ng iyong paghihirap

Tagumpay at karangala'y nakamit

Tanggapin mo ang aming pagpupugay

Papuri at pasasalamat sa iyo

Mula sa aming mga puso at isipan

Na hinubog mo't ginawang matibay

Buong lakas na isisigaw

Kadakilaan mo at pagmamahal

Dunong at galing na ibinigay

Handog sa Diyos, kalikasan at bayan

Taas noo nating ipagmalaki

Walang humpay na ipagbunyi

Makulay na mga taong lumipas

Pinanday mo sa tiyaga at pagsisikap

P-N-S...

naalimpungatan lang

Sa isang pagkakataong lumilipad ang isip ko sa kawalan...

Tila sumasabay ang aking diwa sa mga ibon na sumasayaw sa saliw ng ihip ng hangin sa alangaang ng langit. Sa mga panahong banayad ang lahat at tahimik ang paligid ay hindi ko maiwasan ang mga alaalang hindi ko man nais masalimuha ay parang kusa na lang pumapasok sa aking isipan.

Mabagal ang hakbang ng aking mga paa habang naglalakad noon sa pasilyo ng aming silid-aklatan. Pakiramdam ko ay naglalakbay ako’t nakasakay sa ulap. Sa pagbukas ko ng nilumang pintuang kahoy ay sumalubong ang hindi magkamayaw na ingay ng mga estudyanteng hindi alintanang sila’y nasa silid-aklatan. Ngunit sa isipan ko noo’y walang ibang ingay kundi ang dalawang salitang binitiwan ng isang taong nagpatibok sa isang pihikang puso. Nanlalamig ang mga kamay ko noon, hindi sa kaba, kundi sa nararamdamang hindi maarok ng aking pagkatao. Nanginiginig ang dalawa kong tuhod habang binabagtas ang daan patungo sa lugar na kinahihimpilan ng aking mga kaibigan. Malayo pa man ako sa kanila’y wari kong matatanaw na ang guhit ng matamis na ngiti sa aking mukha at malabutuing kislap ng aking mga mata. Kung alam lang nila ang nangyari...

Magtatatlong taon na rin pala simula noon, o hindi kaya sobra pa? Hindi ko na alam. Hindi na ako nagbibilang. Marami na rin ang mga naganap kaya hindi ko na maalala ang bawat detalye ng masalimuot na kwento naming dalawa. Marahil dahil pilit ko itong inaalis sa aking isipan. May mga bagay talaga na dapat patulugin. Ngunit sa mga panahong lumilipad ang isip ko sa kawalan ay napapadpad ito sa mga senaryo ng nakalipas. Ang spin-the-bottle na nagmitsa ng lahat...na nasundan ng napakaraming sulat sa mga puting papel na pang-hayskul, at ang mga iyon ay abo na ngayon. Mayroon pang mga rosas na binigay niya noong prom. Tuyo na rin iyon ngayon at hindi ko na alam kung nasaan. Madalas kailangan ring alisin ang mga magpapagising sa mga bagay na dapat sana’y natutulog pa. Ngunit nariyan pa ang puting teddy bear at ang dalawang kwintas. Pinaampon ko muna siya sa isang kaibigan dahil hindi ko kaya na pareho ang kahantungan niya sa mga sulat sa puting papel. Sa tuwing titingin din ako sa buwan sa kadiliman ng gabi, nagugunita ko ang mga panahon na nagkikwentuhan kami sa tabi ng dagat sa ilalim ng dumudungaw ng liwanag ng buwan. Tinatanaw niya ang buwan at sasabihing napakaganda nito, pero ang daliri niya ay nakaturo sa akin.

Madalas naiisip ko na sana hindi niya na lang sinabi ang dalawang salitang iyon. Para tuloy akong isang batang natutulog sa gabi ng biglang naalimpungatan sanhi ng mga alitiit sa paligid. Pero napansin kong minsan ay masarap palang isipin na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo ay may isang nakakita ng iyong kagandahan na hindi mo wari. Ngunit madalas ko ring naiisip kung ang dalawang salita ba na yun ay kaya niyang tumbasan ng “habambuhay”. Madalas tinatanong ko rin kung matutumbasan ko rin ang lahat ng ito. Ngunit ngayon, naintindihan ko na. Ito marahil ang nais ng Diyos na ituro sa akin hanggang sa maging handa na ako sa tamang panahon at sa tamang tao. Kaya sa dalawang salita niya noon ay sumusukli ako ngayon ng tatlong salita. “Maghintay ka sana.”

(at naghintay nga siya. :D )

(reblogged from FB notes Oct.31, 2009)